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Quotes by Doctor Who
"Resistance is useless.
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By Doctor Who
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"Good place to put things--cellars.
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By Doctor Who
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"Rest is for the weary, sleep is for the dead.
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By Doctor Who
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"First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
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By Doctor Who
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"Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority.
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By Doctor Who
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"Anybody remotely interesting is mad, in some way or another.
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By Doctor Who
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"It may be irrational of me, but human beings are quite my favorite species.
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By Doctor Who
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"According to classical aerodynamics, it is impossible for a bumblebee to fly.
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By Doctor Who
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"The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views...which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.
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By Doctor Who
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"First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
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By Doctor Who
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"How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol How about the pillow It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that
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By Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know anybody First, take out the garbage. Then go around and collec
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By Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, luck
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By Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that
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By Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"You know something that would really make me applaud A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out
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By Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"I remember how my Great Uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a lar
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By Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"You know one thing that will really make a woman mad Just run up and kick her in the butt. (P.S. This also works with men.)
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By Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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